Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
