is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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