she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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