You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
