It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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