check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
