He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
