Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
