ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
