I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is classic penis vs brain.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
