I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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