I wish I could teleport
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The power of my boobs compel you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
