but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
