Little spoons don't ask big questions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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