I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
