Is it because I queefed?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Randomize
