Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
