i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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