I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
