What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
