she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
