She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just blew my weed a kiss
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
