OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
