I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
