hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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