If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize