super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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