Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
