Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
