1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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