help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
