You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
