big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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