Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
