So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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