dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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