Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
