I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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