Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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