Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
