Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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