my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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