I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
