last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
