You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
