people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have demons in me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
