I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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