soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
