I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
