p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
