No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
