.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
