perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
