you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
