ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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