dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize