If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is wine microwaveable?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
