I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize