I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
