Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
