alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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