I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
