did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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