in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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