Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are you still at the devil's house?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
