after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
