Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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