She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
