You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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