One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
