I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
