I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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