My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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