A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
