I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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