woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
