I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
