You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
