just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
