Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
