i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize