I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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